"No matter how much I get done, or is left undone, at the end of the day
I am enough."
-Brene Brown
Below are some tips for families, as they adapt to changes in their normal routines and schedules.
Tip #1: Establish a Schedule
Children (and adults) benefit from routines. Routines not only help to set clear expectations for behavior and performance, they also provide a sense of consistency. Given the unpredictable nature of recent events, establishing a schedule may help to not only ease worries, but also help promote a balance between school, work, and play during school-building closures. Additionally, it
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will help make the transition back to a typical school- and work-routine much easier!
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Every family's schedule will be unique given the child's/children's age(s), the caregiver(s) work commitments, and available resources. We provide just one example of what a daily schedule could look like. One specific recommendation would be to build in time to practice daily wellness or mental health habits, such as a gratitude, mindfulness, or deep breathing exercise. These habits can help strength our skills of resiliency during times of change or stress.
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Click here for examples of schedules for both older and younger children, as well as blank templates.
Additionally, please remember that this type of structured schedule may work for some families, but not all. Take time to figure out what works best for your family during this time of transition. It may help to start out small, where you set 1-3 daily goals with your child of activities and routines you'd like to accomplish.
Tip #2: Find the Positives
Our brains are trained to scan for the negative, in order to protect us from potential danger. While this is an important natural instinct, we don't want to accidentally fall into a pit of negativity. We can develop a healthy, balanced mindset by practicing ways to scan for, and highlight, the positives in our daily lives. Here are some ideas for modeling, teaching, and practicing this skill with your families:
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Reframe negative thoughts. For example, if you have the thought, "I am stuck working from home," you could reframe it by saying to yourself, "This will give me extra time with my children in the morning," or "It'll be nice to take a break from the morning commute and traffic!" If you find that your child is verbalizing a lot of negative thoughts about missing school and friends, you can acknowledge his/her feelings (e.g., "You sound disappointed and frustrated. I feel that way too."), then help them identify a positive (e.g., "Right now, we are staying home from school. During this time, I am looking forward to our extra family time. What are you looking forward to?").
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Practice daily gratitude. Each family member could spend 1-5 minutes writing about something they're grateful for in a daily journal. Or during a meal, each member could share something they are grateful for.
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Practice giving compliments. This could be to others within your home, or long-distance compliments via social media, email, telephone, or by letter
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Tip #3: Be creative
about
Social Connection
It will be important to stay up-to-date with the Center for Disease Control's (CDC) recommendations regarding social distancing. While social distancing guidelines may present challenges to accessing the type of social connection and communication we're used to, it doesn't mean that we can't still find ways to have daily, meaningful connections with friends and family.
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Have a family brainstorm about ways you could socially connect to others (encourage kids to be a part of the brainstorming process too; problem-solving and creative thinking are great skills to practice). Here are some ideas to get you started.
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Schedule consistent phone calls or video chats with friends, family, and colleagues
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Write a friend a letter (ask them to be pen pals)
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Play a card game or board game virtually with a friend, such as scrabble, chess, Uno, Yahtzee
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Have a movie night where each person watches the movie at their respective homes. Either video chat during it, or talk afterwards to discuss it
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Plan a virtual field trip with a grandparent or friend. There are many museums and zoos across the nation offering free virtual tours!
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Spend time with a family pet; pets can be a great source of companionship
Tip #4: Be Kind
to
Yourself
Adapting to change often can feel difficult, uncomfortable, and unpleasant. This may feel especially true as your family adjusts to new routines and expectations. Therefore, it will be extra important to be kind to yourself during this time. You can show yourself kindness by:
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Carving out time for self-care activities (remember, these don't have to be big moments. These could be small moments, like allowing yourself 30 extra seconds in the bedroom and taking deep breaths before beginning your day)
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Pay extra attention to how you speak to yourself. Is your self-talk critical (e.g., "I'll never adjust to this new schedule)? Or is it encouraging (e.g., "I've faced challenges before. I can do this)?
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Reach out for support often and early. Asking for support, guidance, and feedback from those you trust is a brave, and invaluable, practice.
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Forgive yourself. There will be challenges and tough moments, and things you wish you did differently. But that's okay. We are all learning and growing in this together.